Religion : Staffordshire Wedding Services

Religious Ceremonies

There are many types of wedding ceremony which cater for different faith religions. Whilst there is much more detail available on various websites and in books dedicated to specific subjects, we aim to set out below a few points of interest:

Buddhist Wedding
Catholic Wedding
Church of England Wedding
Greek Orthadox Wedding
Hindu Wedding
Humanist Wedding
Jewish Orthodox Wedding
Muslim Wedding
Sikh Wedding

Church of England Wedding

You should arrange an appointment to see the parish minister of the church in which you wish to marry
If you are on the Church's electoral role in your parish you may marry in the church
The church of England states that you may marry in the church where you are resident
It is not necessary to be a regular church attendee to marry there however if you wish to marry outside your area you must attend church for six months in order to be put on the churches electoral roll or obtain an Archbishops licence. The priest of your parish will then arrange to read your banns
In order for your marriage to be solemnised you must undertake/obtain one of the following: publication of banns, common license, special license issued by the Archbishop of Canterbury, the authority of a Superintendent Registrar's office. Common choice is usually publication of banns
Before publication of the banns you will be expected to meet the minister of the parish on several occasions. These will be read during normal service in church in the parish in which you both live and invite anybody who has reason to believe that you should not marry to come forward. If you both live in different parishes the banns will be read in each.
You will have to pay a small fee for the publication of these banns. The Church not performing the ceremony will issue a certificate stating that the banns have been published. Before the ceremony can take place the certificate must be shown to the minister who will be officiating.
Banns will normally be read on three consecutive Sundays in the three months leading up to the wedding. If you get married three months after the banns have been read, they have to be read again.

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Catholic Wedding

Both the religious and civil aspect of the wedding will be covered in the ceremony and it is for the couple to choose whether or not they have mass.
If you choose to have mass the service will last for about an hour without mass the service tends to be 30 minutes.
A priest or deacon will carry out the service.
You may have your own choice of music and hymns.
You have the responsibility of obtaining a marriage license and it is normal to give your church at least 6 months notice.
Your priest will arrange for the publishing of the banns.
There are certain days in the year when the priest can refuse to marry a couple. These are usually on the 3 days leading up to Easter and although it is sometimes frowned upon to marry in the season of lent it is possible for it to take place during this period.
You will normally attend 4 or 5 meeting with the priest in your parish. He will discuss the Catholic teaching on the subject of marriage and its duties. There are forms to complete you and your family, your baptism confirmation and your first communion. You will also be asked to produce your certificate of baptism.
You will need to obtain a dispensation for a 'mixed marriage' from the parish priest if one of you is not Catholic. A disparity of cult' will need to be obtained if one of you has not been baptised. This is granted by the Bishop himself.
Vows taken are the same for a mixed marriage and a Catholic marriage. It is only the Catholic marriage that will take mass but both will include readings and prayers.

The order of the service is as follows:

a) Bride enters the church to either a hymn or organ music.
b) Service is introduced by the priest and a short prayer is said.
c) Bible reading by couples choice of reader.
d) A psalm is read or sung.
e) The priest reads a Gospel reading.
f) The priest gives a homily or sermon.
g) The religious ceremony takes place followed by the civil ceremony if applicable.
h) The couple exchange rings after the priest has blessed them saying 'Take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and the Holy Spirit'.
i) 'Bidding prayers' are read by the couple's choice of reader (these can be written by the couple themselves). These are read for the new couple and for other intentions.
j) Nuptial Mass will take place if applicable with the receipt of communion.
k) Final blessing by the priest.
l) Signing of the register.
j) Bride and Groom leave the church together
Religious reading, music/hymns is usually the order of the day. Non-religious reading/music are best read/played during the signing of the register (they will therefore not compete with the religious aspect of the wedding) if allowed by your priest.
If you choose to have the church organist remember they will have to be paid. If you wish to have your own music/choir ensure that they are in keeping with the religious aspect.
You should offer the priest a gesture for all the necessary paperwork he will complete usually between £50-£70. Give a envelope to the Best Man or Father of the Bride to pass onto the priest after the service.
It is a custom to invite the priest to the reception after the Ceremony.

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Jewish Orthodox Wedding

A Jewish marriage ceremony combines both the religious and legal sides.
The bride is known as (Kallah) and the groom as (Chatan).
The ceremony takes place underneath a Chuppah (Canopy). By standing beneath the Chuppah the ceremony can take place almost anywhere.
Traditionally the cost is met by the brides parents.
The ceremony lasts approximately 1 hour and follows a strict pattern.
If you wish to marry in the Orthadox Jewish tradition your parents must have married in the Orthadox tradition and an authorised Rabbi would have presided over the ceremony. They also need to Show their marriage licence known as Ketabuh. A group of 10 males (family and friends) known as a Minvan needs to be in attendance at the ceremony to make it valid.
The ceremony can take place at any time during the day and most people choose to marry on a Tuesday or a Sunday - this is when god blessed his creation doubly.
You must register your intention to marry a few months beforehand with a synagogue and Rabbi at the Chief Rabbi's office, based in Finchley, London.
You are unable to marry in the 49 days between the moveable feasts of Passover and Pentecost and during three weeks between July and August. Also, you are unable to marry on the Sabbath or a festival day. Marriages may take place on the Sabbath if the ceremony begins two hours after sundown or later.
The groom must obtain the Jewish marriage certificate (Ketabuh) from the Chief Rabbi's office. It will be written in Aramaic and English
The couple meet the Rabbi on several occasions before the marriage to take his advice regarding the meaning of marriage, answer any questions they may have and pass on religious text for them to read. The Rabbi's wife will also meet with the wife to be who will discuss the roles of each partner within the marriage.
Normally there is no wedding rehearsal.
All non-Orthadox Jews that enter into a synagogue must dress appropriately that is the men must cover their heads with a Kippah and married women should also cover their heads, shoulders and arms. All should respect the customs and traditions of the Jewish Faith
Males should wear a dinner jacket and women a dress or skirt. For women to wear trousers in the synagogue is considered disrespectful
The bride normally wears a white wedding dress. Her face will be covered by a veil during the ceremony. The groom usually wears a suit and Kippah but some prefer a top hat. He also wears a Tallith/Tallit (a white prayer shawl) over his suit.
Service sheets are normally provided if non-Orthadox guests are invited otherwise the Siddur(book) is followed during the service
A canopy is constructed on the eve of the ceremony consisting of four vertical poles, linked by a frame and covered by velvet embroidered cloth representing the new home. All four sides are open representing unconditional hospitality to anyone who enters.
Fasting must take place 24 hours before the ceremony unless you are marrying on Rosh Chodesh (the new moon and the beginning of the Jewish month). This allows the couple to begin their new state together with a 'clean state' known as Yom Kippur (a day of atonement).
The bride and groom are not allowed to see each other the week before the wedding.
On the wedding day:
The men arrive first to sing and pray and are known as the grooms Tish.
The bride arrives with her mother/mother-in-law and bridesmaids.
Bedeken then takes place (veiling of the bride). This takes place before the processional of the bride, groom and their attendants (Unterfuhrers) to the Chuppah. This takes place in another room and usually with the bride, groom and both sets of parents. The fathers bless the bride and groom and the groom will then veil the bride.
The ceremony:
Is made up of Kiddushine and the Nisuin and lasts about 20-30 minutes. The bride walks around the groom 7 times beneath the Chuppah and settles on his right hand side. This represents her creating religious warmth within their new home. The brides' attendants are to her right and the grooms on the left. Two pre-nuptial blessings are given over wine representing sanctification and joy. The couple then drink
The groom hold the wedding ring in his hand and recites to his wife 'Behold, you are sanctified to me with this ring, according to the law of Moses and of Israel'. He then places the ring on the Brides finger. They are now legally married but not yet allowed to live together
The rabbi then reads the Ketuba (marriage certificate) to all in both English and Hebrew. After more prayers he then blesses the couple. He then says a short speech talking about the Brides and Grooms family history.
To complete the ceremony the Nisuin follows. It is conducted beneath the Chuppah symbolising the groom bringing his new wife into their new home. They recite the 7 wedding blessings (Sheva Brahkos). They talk of the themes of the greatness of God as creator of all, the happiness of bride and groom and the wellbeing of the eternally inspiring source of religious strength, the city of Jerusalem. These blessings are recited over a second cup of wine and the bride and groom finish off the ceremony by drinking more wine.
To celebrate the new brides role the Eshet Chail is sung during the service.
Choirs and musicians usually play music and psalms as well as Jewish folk music.
The end of the ceremony is marked by the groom breaking a glass (acts as sadness at the destruction of the Temple of Jerusalem) with his heel. It also acts as a reminder to all that the forthcoming celebrations must be in accordance to what is considered respectable behaviour.
The marriage certificate is signed accompanied by two witnesses. The newlyweds then usually spend some time alone in a separate room. This time is known as Yichud and the Rabbi will guard the door where usually the fast is broken. Guests do not leave the venue until they reappear. The couple are the first to make their way to the reception.
The reception is usually a large dinner, followed by grace and the seven wedding blessings again.
Speeches are carried out by the Rabbi, father of the groom and the groom. Dancing is followed to traditional Jewish folk music.

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Greek Orthadox Wedding

The ceremony takes place in a Greek Orthodox church by a priest and usually lasts about 40mins to an hour followed by a civil ceremony.
There are now various venues in London that can combine both ceremonies into one.
You cannot get married during the fasting period 40 before Easter, fasting period before Christmas and the first 15 days in August (dedicated to celebrating the Virgin Mary).
Marriage in a Leap Year is considered unlucky.
Sunday Mass is the only time during the day you can't get married.
A number of meeting prior to the wedding should take place with the priest in your local Greek church.
The only music you can have during the ceremony is hymns and all reading have to be taken from religious text.
It's not compulsory to have a wedding rehearsal.
It is preferred that only guests baptised into the faith attend the church ceremony although you can invite people from different religions to attend the celebrations.
The bride will normally wear a white dress together with a long train. Groom usually wears a black suit with bow tie
Traditionally the ceremony itself is paid for by the bridemaids and follows the following format: (holy communion will have taken place prior to the wedding day) .

The betrothal ceremony carried out by the priest and involves placing rings on the bride/grooms right finger.
Crowns are placed on the couples head and a cup of wine is given to them.
The couple kiss the bible and walk three times around the ceremonial table at the alter to recognise the Holy Trinity and their happiness at the coming together of the two families.
Once the service is over the newlyweds and their guests leave for the reception. During the dancing the 'money dance' takes place where guests pin money onto the couples's clothes.

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Muslim Wedding

In the Asian world Muslim marriages are usually arranged by the parents, but, the Bride and groom have the final say as to who they will wed
The Bride proposes to the Groom through a friend/male relative. Upon accepting the proposal the Groom then sends the bride a gift (Mahar) as a dowry for her to spend as she wishes
The engagement lasts for 3 months and should this time lapse before the marriage takes place then the engagement contract will be renewed
The Bride can only be in the room with the Groom where there is a chaperone present
You can marry at any time and the ceremony usually last for 1 ½ hours
Only two male witnesses can be used
It is forbidden to marry on the two days of Eid, which occurs after the feasts of Ramadan, and the day of Pilgrimage. You cannot marry on the day of Ashura, which falls on either the 9 th or 10 th day of the Islamic first month (Muharran). There are no fixed days for wedding because the Muslim calendar works on a lunar cycle
There is no register system in Islam so there is no fixed notice period required before the marriage. The ceremony is called the Nikah
You must speak to the Iman of the mosque or your local cleric. The gift fro husband to wife (Mahar) needs to be arranged
The priest fills in all the necessary forms and there is no marriage license in the Muslim wedding
Any male Muslim may undertake the ceremony if he understands the traditions of Muslim. Traditionally, the Qazi (an elder of the mosque) will officiate. Female Muslims are not allowed to do this
Although a Mosque is preferred a Muslim marriage can take place anywhere and there are no service sheets
A wedding rehearsal does not take place
People from all religions can attend the wedding
The Asian Muslim Bride traditionally wears bright sparkling clothes with jewellery and flowers. The Arab Muslim Bride will wear white and have a veil. Her hands and feet are decorated with henna tattoos (Mehndi)
The Groom will wear either traditional dress, a western style suit or a combination of both
Revealing clothes are not allowed even for the guests

The ceremony:

This is called the Nikah. The bride and groom are separated by being in different parts of the hall or separate rooms. Guest are traditionally separated but in Western cultures they can be mixed.
The Muslim Officiate solemnises the marriage by reading a marriage sermon to the marriage party. The Qazi may choose to recite the Fatihah (the first chapter of the Koran) and the blessing or Durud as there are no particular stipulations for the ceremony.
The ceremony finishes with a Duoa (prayer) for the Bride, Groom, their relatives and their Muslim community. Their marriage documents are filed at the Mosque and the local government.
Tradition states coins be thrown rather than confetti (known as Savaqah).
After the ceremony a Banquet or Walima is served separately to men and women. It is only after this banquet that the newly married couple sit together for the first time when prayers are read and the couples heads are covered (by a Dupatta) .
Their first night of marriage is spent in separate rooms at the brides house. The next morning, the bride and groom are taken to their new home by the bride's father where he gives the brides hand to her new husband and asks him to look after his daughter. This is known as the Rukshat.

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Sikh Wedding

Sikhs believe in the teachings of the 10 Gurus (religious leaders or teachers) detailed in the Sikh Holy Scripture and the existence of only one God

Sikh temples can be registered for marriage within the UK law. If the building you wish to get married in is within your registration district then the legal requirements are the same as a Civil Marriage. If the building is in a different district you will need to prove that it is your normal place of worship. If this is not possible you need to meet the necessary residency requirements and give notice in the registration district.
If you want to get married in a building which has not been registered for marriages then you will need to have arranged a Civil Ceremony prior to your Sikh ceremony in order to comply with law.

Traditionally Sikh weddings are arranged marriages. Both families are involved and both prospective bride and groom consulted.
A Kurmai (engagement) is optional and takes place either the Grooms home or a temple normally 7 days before the wedding. A temple ceremony (Gurdwara) begins with Milni where the families exchange garlands after prayers. Men and women are seated separately in the Gurdwara and a simple ceremony and hymns from Sri Guru Grath Sahib take place when people enter. People stand for the Sikh Prayer (Ardas) which is then followed by the placing of the grooms scarf over the bride and grooms shoulders down to the bride's hands. This represents the beginning of a new life together. A Langer is celebrated with friends and family after the ceremony.
If the Kurmai takes place at the grooms home where he is presented with a Kara (bracelet) and a Kirpain (sword) or Indian sweets by the brides family when they visit. This gesture is reciprocated by the giving of an Indian outfit and sweets by the groom for the bride.

On the days leading up to the wedding day some families choose to have five close relatives of the bride. During their stay they will paint the brides legs and hands with Henna designs and place a combination of oil water and Henna through the bride's hair.
A Braat (party of the groom and his relatives) are given food and entertained on the day before the ceremony. They will either travel straight to the wedding venue or stay at the bride's home in readiness for the morning service.
White is the normal groom attire and colourful robes for the bride are normally red and gold embroidery. A full veil covering the brides face is worn until after the ceremony.
Traditional clothing is preferably worn by all guests. White clothing should be avoided as it is deemed to be unlucky.
Shoes should be removed at the door and both men and women should cover their heads.
The ceremony usually lasts for 1 1/2 hours and requires all guests to sit on the floor.
A ceremony can take place anywhere that has a Sri Guru Granth Sahib installed.
The groom is seated first.
The bride is seated on the grooms left having been lead by her mother and best friend.
The Pathi (officiator - any good Sikh, male or female) will read from the holy book with the couple facing him
To show their consent to the wedding the couple and their parents stand and bow to the Sri Guru Granth Sahib
The morning hymn Asa di Var is usually sung at the opening of the ceremony
The Pathi ensures both parties consent to the marriage and are both Sikhs
During prayers by the Pathi to the God Almighty both the couple and their parents are asked to stand. This is to ask for blessing from the God Almighty. After this blessing a short hymn is sung
The Pathi then conducts a speech detailing the significance of he Sikh marriage
If the couple have not been baptised (Amrit) the Pathi will advise them to do so
The Pathi then gives a marriage speech
After the speech the bride and groom will bow before the Sri Guru Granth Sahib to give their consent and agree to their duties.
The brides father will then place a garland of flowers on both the bride and groom and the Holy book
He then places the Patka through the grooms hand around his shoulders and down into the brides hands. He will then tie part of the Patka to he headpiece of the bride. The represents the couples unity.
A short hymn and vows are taken once this union has taken place.
The bride and groom proceed to walk around the Sri Guru Granth Sahib in a clockwise direction with the groom first followed by the bride. This takes place four times to represent the four stages of love during the reading of the Lavan. On completion of each circuit the bride and groom will kneel and pray towards Sri Guru Granth Sahib. When the four circuits have taken place the marriage is complete
Parents and grandparents stand up as confirmation of their support for the couple. This takes place only after the couple and their relatives have walked around the Holy Book
The couple take their seats after they have reached the front of the Holy Book and bowed.
The conclusion of the ceremony is reached when the Ananad hymn (which has 6 stanzas) is sung and a prayer Ardas is shared with the whole congregation.
A verse is then read from the holy book and Karah Prashad (sacred food) is served to the congregation
Guests may then congratulate the Bride and Groom; some may prefer to offer a blessing by putting their hands on the Bride and Groom heads. Some people may choose to insert a sum of money into the Patka.

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Buddhist Wedding

A Buddhist may marry another of any faith or religion
The ceremony usually takes place in a registry office although there are certain licensed Buddhist temples available
Couples may have a blessing in a Buddhist temple and the occasion is influenced to suit the country in which the ceremony is taking place
Within the Buddhist temple the blessing is able to take place at any given time at the convenience of the chosen venue.
Buddhists can marry on any day of the week and between the times that their local register office/temple is open. Attendance or meetings with monks beforehand is not necessary and there is usually no rehearsal. Any forms required are dealt with by the registry office
Guests from different faiths may attend the ceremony and as a sign of respect for the Buddhist faith they need to observe certain formalities such as removal of shoes prior to entering the temple
Dress code on the day is up to the individual although most brides wear a dress and the groom a suit.
Where there is a blessing ceremony this will take place inside the Buddhist temple. It is in the shrine room and will last for about half an hour. Ordained monks will chant from the Buddhist sacred texts in the Pali language.
The guests are not invited to participate in the ceremony so there are no service sheets
Photographs taken of the ceremony are permitted as well as video, although a choir or organist will not perform. Confetti is not thrown either.

Once the blessing has taken place the reception will follow. The style/theme of the reception is down to the individual as there are no rules under the faith of what is or is not allowed

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Hindu Wedding

The ceremony is one of the most important of the sixteen sanskars or sacraments and is a bond between two families
Preparations for the ceremony/celebrations start weeks before the big day. The ceremony itself lasts for a minimum of 1 ½ hours and is performed by a male Brahmin priest (in accordance to the holy verses (mantras) from the holy book - Vedas). This takes place in a town hall/hotel/village hall followed by blessings in the temple
A marriage also has to take place in a civil registry office followed by a Hindu ceremony because the Hindu wedding is not recognised by British law
It is forbidden to marry on Amas (one day in each month based on the lunar calendar), a two-week period in September known as Shraaddh and 15 days before Holi Festival. These dated change annually with the Lunar calendar
A meeting with the Brahmin takes place before the ceremony
For any non-Hindu guests a brief translation of the service will be provided
Dress code of the day is either suits or traditional dress for men, suits, dresses or saris for the women. Black should be avoided and elderly and orthodox women still tend to cover their heads
The bride (Dulham) is given a white sari (represents purity) given by her maternal uncles. During the celebrations she will wear a red sari (represents fertility) given to her by the grooms family. She also wears hair ornaments, arm bracelets, gold waist band and gold bracelets around her ankles
The groom (Dulha) can wear traditional Indian dress of a nehru jacket, traditional trousers in white/ivory or a lounge suit
On the day before the wedding the bride, friends and family have their hands and feet painted with elaborate henna designs. At the wedding venue a canopy of flowers is erected and the priest who is taking the ceremony performs the Ghari Puji in the grooms/brides home (prayers to welcome in the new life together, to rid evil and transfer prosperity onto the couple
On the wedding day:
The bridegroom arrives in one of a cavalcade of cars. The bride's mother welcomes him by placing a round red dot on his forehead and gives him a garland of flowers whilst the rest of the family welcome him. (traditionally all the female relatives/friends of the bride snatch the garland and steal his shoes in order to demand a ransom for his release)
He is then accompanied to the canopy (Mancap) with the brides mother fr the ceremony followed by his sisters who shake a metal pot covered by a white handkerchief which holds rice and coins (to ward off evil spirits)
He then steps on a small terracotta bowl before entering the venue (to signify his virility/strength). The Brides mother and father wash his feet whilst he waits for his bride to arrive
The bride's maternal uncles accompany her to the venue either carrying her or between them. Her own choice of music is played as she enters the venue
The marriage ceremony:
Begins with the Hasta Melaap (brides right hand is placed in the grooms to the chanting of the holy verses by the priest)
A white cloth is used to tie the corner of the brides sari to the grooms scarf to join the couple
The fire god is invited into the centre of the Mandap by lighting a fire and to witness the union and right hands of the couples being tied together with blessed thread. As a sign of wealth, health, happiness and prosperity rice, oats and leaves are placed in the couple's palms. These are then offered to the fire.
The couple then walk 4 times around the fire known as the Lawan Phere. Each time around they also stop to touch a stone in their path this symbolises them overcoming any obstacles in their lives together. This symbolises faith, financial stability, procreation and liberation of the soul the four human goals on Hinduism
The Bride and Groom choose music for the ceremony from the latest Bollywood film songs, older romantic soundtracks. There are no readings
The Saptapadj is the most important part of the ceremony. The Bride and Groom take seven steps together. Each step asks god to bless the couple for food, progeny, strength, prosperity, family life-long friendship and happiness. The bride then takes the grooms left side which leaves his right side free to take on the world
The groom then places Sindoor (holy red powder) on the bride's forehead known as Saubhagya Chinya to welcome her into this life. To symbolise his love, devotion and integrity to he gives her a necklace of black beads (Mangalsutrs)
As a sign of fidelity, to love and cherish each other always the couple fedd each other sweetmeats. This is called Anna-Prashana
Ashirwaad is the blessing from the priests, parent and close relatives. Their friends will then follow
After the ceremony a dinner will follow where games will also be played to assess the couples patience with each other and to find out who is the dominant partner
The groom will lead his new bride to the car; there the bride's mother/male relative will cover her with a shawl to wish her luck. The couple normally stop off at a temple seek blessings and to offer prayers.

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Humanist Wedding

This type of ceremony is attractive to couples with no religious connotations . Humanists believe in life experiences, don't believe in live after death but believe in living life to the full and helping others to do the same. You can have a personal ceremony that takes place anywhere and is not legally binding or you can opt for specially licensed Civil Ceremony venue where you can have a legally binding service performed by a Registrar. There are some rules attached to this. The ceremony must be in doors and only approved readings allowed.

A true humanist wedding (not legally binding) can be conducted by friend's or relatives or a Celebrant trained and licensed by the British Humanist Association.
Content of the ceremony is personal to the couple but can include readings personal vows and music (must be secular - non religious)

Just a word of caution if you decide to have your ceremony in a large field somewhere make sure you have the relevant permission to do so.

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